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第一篇：《经典幽默搞笑小故事》之打鼾
宿舍里安排三张床位。里面已经有两个人了。我的床位就在最左边。我通常睡死了就爱打呼，呼声还挺大。中间的睡着一个，晚上非常受不了这鼾声，闹得他整晚整晚睡不着。昨天，另一个新人来到宿舍，睡在了最右边。这个新人晚上睡觉也打鼾。我怕中间的人更难道就问他怎么样。他反而说：“比以前好多了，以前是单声道，变成立体声了。倒是平衡多了！”
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第二篇：英语介绍微信
He Jinhui (Tim)
Section 792
M00062237
My Topic: Weixin
Introduction
Weixin was created and put into market by Tencent Technology (Shenzhen) company limited in January 21, 2011.It is very popular.You can see people around you using Weixin to talk with their friends.Weixin is your robust and comprehensive voice chatting app with photo and video sharing.Weixin is a free instant meaging service application.It can make people quick to send voice meage, video, pictures and text by phone.Because it is transmitted by network, distance is not a problem.Even your friends in foreign country, you can use weixin to contact.Because of its attractive function, low cost and convenience, Weixin become a hot free soft.
Weixin become a succeful technology.And the Tencent Technology company becomes a highly competitive company.
Functions
Weixin has many functions.Weixin has basic functions, such as send hold-to-talk voice meages, text meages, pictures and videos.Weixin supports Wi-Fi and 3G data network.And it supports China, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan, Japan and US Phone Number.Weixin has speakerphone.Gently pre the button to speak.The other party will be able to receive the voice after the button release.Weixin can enjoy group chat up to 20 people.What’s more, Weixin has many other attractive functions.The most attractive function is search people around you.Weixin can search people near you who has Weixin base on your own location.This function can make user to know people around you and then to built a new relationship.Weixin also supports to send video.Shoot a video and send it to the other party immediately.The compreed video is also suitable for
transmiion in mobile network.So you can always share the wonderful pieces of life with other people at any time.Weixin also has drift bottle function.This function can share your meages to the world anonymously and make new friends.Weixin also has voice notes function.This function not only can save your voice memo, but also keep your pictures and texts in a convenient way.Weixin also can help you to catch your meages and keep you always updated.Weixin has QQ mail notifications which can alert you when new mails come to your QQ mailbox and you can read the mails right away.It supports sending and receiving meages from Tencent micro blog.Weixin has English language edition.It is convenience for foreign to use it.It can help the company to dominate the market outside of China.
The proce to send a language meage is very simple.Open audio function and speak what you want to say to your friend.Then send the audio document to your friend.Your friend can receive your audio document.Open it then your friend can hear your recording.This model can make two people
“talk” with each other in different place and different time.What’s more, the Tencent Technology company update version every fifteen days.The last version is version 3.1 updated on Oct 27, 2011.Every version has new function.The version will update now and then.There are many other function will be created in the future.
Intended Audience
Most people can become intended audience.It is just like every can own a free email addre or a free MSU or QQ.Weixin is designed so that everyone can use it.And people are intent to have a Weixin.Youth, middle-age person and old people are the intend audience.Now the majority of people using Weixin are students.Weixin is popular in high school students and university students.Some primary students stare to use Weixin.Over half of students in our college are using Weixin.The other users are worker.Most of them use Weixin to negotiate busine deal.The age range is ten years old to sixty years old.Everyone who can see, hear and speak is
intended audience for this technology.Most people may become Weixin user.
Cost
The cost of Weixin is very low.It is almost cost nothing to download Weixin soft.Weixin is a free soft.It is cost nothing to own Weixin if you has a contemporary phone such as Nokia, Motorola, Lenovo.However, it is cost web traffic to send and receive meage.The cost of web traffic general is very low.It is enough to spent ten Yuan on web traffic.The low cost is one of reason why Weixin becoming popular.
Market Leader
Tencent Technology company Limited is the market leader for this technology.Weixin was created and put into market by Tencent Technology (Shenzhen) company limited in January 21, 2011.The company has the right of patent.The other company cannot have this new technology.It is a monopoly.Tencent Technology company updates the version of Weixin now and then.That can make sure
the company is the market leader for long time.Of course, it is a perfect soft.They always update the version ever fifteen days.The last version is Version
3.1.Tencent is the leader and it is the leader too in the future.
第三篇：《经典幽默搞笑小故事》之要醋吗
老婆在家包饺子，邀请闺密来吃。等饺子煮好，老公热情地帮闺密盛了一碗，还殷勤地问她要不要醋，闺密笑着点点头。
接着，老公又问老婆要不要醋，只见老婆把嘴一撇，故意说道：“我已经吃过了……”
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第四篇：《经典幽默搞笑小故事》之夫妻相
芳芳烫了一头长长的鬈发，效果却不理想，既显老又显脸大。
这天，芳芳去菜市场买菜，卖菜小伙喊她“胖婶”，她气得当天就去把头发剪短了。
没想到，第二天去买菜时，卖菜小伙对芳芳说：“胖叔，你跟昨天一个胖婶很有夫妻相！
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第五篇：《经典幽默搞笑小故事》之渔王
有个渔人有着一流的捕鱼技术，被人们尊称为“渔王”。然而“渔王”年老的时候非常苦恼，由于他的三个儿子的渔技都很平庸。
于是个经常向人诉说心中的苦恼："我真不明白，我捕鱼的技术这么好，我的儿子们为什么这么差？我从他们懂事起就传授捕鱼技术给他们，从最基本的东西教起，告诉他们怎样织网最容易捕捉到鱼，怎样划船最不会惊动鱼，怎样下网最容易请鱼入瓮。
他们长大了，我又教他们怎样识潮汐，辨鱼汛。凡是我长年辛辛苦苦总结出来的经验，我都毫无保留地传授给了他们，可他们的捕鱼技术竟然赶不上技术比我差的渔民的儿子！"
一位路人听了他的诉说后，问："你一直手把手地教他们吗？"
"是的，为了让他们得到一流的捕鱼技术，我教得很仔细很耐心。"
"他们一直跟随着你吗？"
"是的，为了让他们少走弯路，我一直让他们跟着我学。"
路人说："这样说来，你的错误就很明显了。你只传授给了他们技术，却没传授给他们教训，对于才能来说，没教训与没经验一样，都不能使人成大器！"
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第六篇：《经典幽默搞笑小故事》之鱼的味道
男人买了一条鱼回家让老婆煮，然后自己跑去看电影，老婆也想一起去。
男人说：“两个人看浪费钱，你把鱼煮好，等我看完回来，边吃边和你分享故事情节。”
待男人看完回来时，没见到鱼，就问老婆：“鱼呢？”
老婆淡定地找了把椅子坐了下来说：“鱼我全吃了，来，坐下来我给你讲讲鱼的味道。“
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